The Ongoing Struggle

Disclaimer: I am not an industrial factory worker from the nineteenth century. Compared to said worker, my problems are tiddlywinks.

Even so, I continue to struggle with coming up with a damned schedule that works for me. Here it is, as it stands:

5:30 - Get my ass out of bed. Throw on clothes, because Buffy's got to go on her walk, and there's usually a couple of people out on the street who might be offended if I saunter around naked.

6:00 - Fucking aerobics. I do it in the morning, because I feel like I have part of the day robbed from me if I do that or other exercise in the evening.

6:30 - Shower, because for some strange reason, I'm sweaty and gross.

7:30 - Clothes on? Make-up on? Hair somewhat dry? Dog fed and watered? Time to ride my bike to work.

8:30 - Be a contributing member of the labour force, curse at stupid security system. (At least I can get around it to get at Google Drive now.)

4:30 - Ride my bike home, curse at everyone who parks their vehicle on the curb or sidewalk or ignore the lights or won't move their asses out of the way even though I've rung that bell and they've looked me dead in the eye and they KNOW I'm there and don't have enough space to get around them, those assholes.

5:00 - Walk the bitch, delightful though she is.

5:30 - Listen to a Pimsleur Korean MP3. Do all the Pimsleur series presume that you're male? It's kind of weird.

6:00 - Get other shit done, like practice singing or try and fail to write something interesting or go to a cafe to drink coffee and try to look interesting, Buffy needs love now, oh hey, when are you going to finish cleaning, how about cooking a proper meal for yourself, can't you pay attention to this TV show or movie for more than ten minutes, fuck it, just start reading again.

10:00 - Sleep.

(The cafe is important; if I leave myself in my apartment for too long, I start trying to chat with the dog and she just isn't a good conversationalist.)

So you can see how I might have problems fitting everything in. I do not expect advice for this. However, if you have a TARDIS to provide, that would be helpful.

Some notes on Korean TV dramas.

I've watched a few of these series now - thank you, http://www.dramacrazy.net! - and I would like to give my thoughts on some commonalities to be found in them.

The male leads are often very, very stalker-ish. How much so? To be point where if I were the female lead, I'd be filing a restraining order at around episode five. The constant meddling in the heroine's life! Creeping about outside her residence! The wrist-grabbing! Oh lord, the wrist-grabbing! This is not the path to true love. This is the path to a deep, burning resentment.

There is often an older woman who is in a position of authority over the leads. She is evil. Most of the other characters on the show will learn something from their experiences, but she will not. She will continue being powerful and evil as she rides off into the sunset.

The two romantic leads don't seem to like each other very much, even when one is stalking the shit out of the other. Their love will become reciprocal at about the two-thirds to three-quarters point in the series. A realistic explanation as to why this occurs will not be provided. They will still seem not to like each other very much.

Kissing is serious business. So serious that months will pass between one kiss and the next. Deep thoughts and many flashbacks will be had about each kiss.

If you'd like to recommend some Korean dramas that don't follow these stereotypes, oh, pretty please, do!

On Traveling Alone

It is often the case in this country that I wind up traveling alone - that is, no companion out of the starting gate and no one to meet when I reach my destination. Although my favoured form of traveling here is as a sort of auxiliary to another group - we can meet and part and meet as we see fit, for the purpose of good times and lessened frustration for all - there is some things to be said for the 'going it alone' strategy.

You can plan spontaneously. In a group, there is an expectation that you will move together and thus any change in the itinerary is subject to discussion and debate. If you're by yourself, you can change your plans on the fly immediately upon receiving new information or whims.

You can experience things that you wouldn't have in a group. You can talk to random people, random Koreans can come up and talk to you - yes, they're looking to practice their English, but isn't that what you're in the country for?

You can do what interests you the most. Many friends I have - well, they like beaches and clubs and shops the most. That's all right. Sometimes, I really enjoy those things too. But I really love museums and historical sites and chances to just wander with a camera in hand. (Sometimes, they really enjoy those things too.) It's so pleasant, though, to be able to go in any direction you want to. I will go to this amusement park! I will go to this island! I will go ride my bike! Those are grand statements to make.

With western food, at least, you have the choice of where you want to eat. Kebabs? Sure. Burritos? Definitely. Burgers? Why not? There is no need to negotiate with anyone. Note that this does not apply for Korean restaurants.

You become more independent. Any problem you face, you must figure out to how to fix it. I actually find that I'm calmer about 'situations' when I'm alone as opposed to when I'm in a group. Somehow, there is a mental block in my mind that if I'm in a group, someone else can solve the problem and I'm free to get into a pancake. By myself, there is no such crutch.

All your opinions about the experience are your own. You're not reliant on anyone else to decide how good a time you really had.

It can be lonely. But it's worth doing.

This is the great conflict of my life, which unfortunately has no villains!

I like puppies. I like dogs. I enjoy their complete honesty of emotion, their eagerness, their complete lack of pretension, their dear paws. I never met a dog I didn't like - even Thumper, who was kind of mean, but he had health problems, poor thing. I really, really want a dog.

Unfortunately, my landlady is afraid of dogs. So is my landlady's daughter. I don't know why they're afraid of dogs - perhaps it's a lack of experience with those fine furred things or they've had a bad run-in. It's not my business and it's not their fault. As such, they're allowed to forbid canines in my apartment as they see fit.

I really, really want a dog, though!

Whenever I'm upset, sad, or feeling crushed under a great weight of ennui, I ask my mother to send videos and photos of the dogs. Some - but not all - of my happiest memories of visiting home involve playing and cuddling with said dogs, as well little Tula, that happy pee machine. Whenever I see a dog strolling along the sidewalk, I feel an overwhelming urge to coo over and pet them. Dogs, to me, represent happiness, not fear.

Having a dog would increase my happiness quotient. But it would also stab a dagger of fear into my landlady and her daughter, which would be terrible, because they are very kind, virtuous people. I am staying in Korea for at least another year and a half, though - that long a span of time without a canine companion!

Maybe getting a boyfriend would be a good substitute, but he probably wouldn't play fetch nearly as well.

About that time, yes?

The weight of ennui is bearing down upon me and if I've learned anything about myself this past twenty-eight years, it's that I need to nip this shit in the bud right now. Therefore, this is my plan for the next week.

I will spend as little time in my apartment as possible. It is a nice, goodly apartment, but being in there alone evening after evening is not doing nice, goodly things for my morale or productivity. Various cafes? Sure, even that would be better.

I will see about hapkido or gumdo classes. I can't ride a bike every day; therefore, I must get regular physical activity through some other means.

Alcohol is right out.

Finally, this weekend, I'll go somewhere. I'll find a festival going on - or an Adventure Korea trip or that sort of thing - and I'll go there. I have to get out of Andong.

That is all. All these things are feasible.

This was an eventful weekend.

On Saturday, I went to a wedding. But not just any wedding! That's right, one of my coteachers, Mr. Kim, tied the knot and throughout the occasion, I was helplessly confused throughout the entire process. To start with, I haven't been to a wedding in over a decade, so the entire process is an enigma to me. Secondly, I was brought to the event by the gym teacher. He is a nice guy (albeit a bit of a brat), but he doesn't speak a lick of English and so was unable to steer me in the proper direction. One of the wedding hall staff took me upstairs to have lunch instead. Thirdly, Korean wedding halls - at least, the one I went to - are big, flashy affairs where there's seemingly a score of couples getting hitched within a few hours of each other. So I didn't know where the hell to go once I ate. I wandered about and madly texted another coteacher - Mr. Shin - who did not respond until after I found the right ceremony just in the nick of time and he went off searching for me. I summoned him back.

The ceremony had swords and Mr. Kim looked very nervous and sang a very enthusiastic song. His bride, whose name I do not know, was very beautiful. I hope the endeavour works out beautifully for them!

After that, I got ferried to the dining area again, this time by by the administration of my school, and almost ate myself sick. Sashimi, guys. It's a hell of a drug. Mr. Shin was kind enough to keep me company during this time and also to drive me back to Andong, along with a bunch of students. There may have been a bit of singing along to 'Mr. Simple'. Don't you judge us.

Once home, I changed my clothes did some other little things, and headed off for the train to Seoul. I ended up sitting next to an ajosshi who was all tuckered out from hiking and had the unfortunate affliction of snoring, so I hightailed it to the dining room and drank and read. Life is hard. Once in Seoul, I went to Itaewon, during which I had an awesome conversation with a dude (a US air force dude) who did not make moves on me in an egregious fashion! In Itaewon! And I was drinking really good beer at the time! Wow. After that, I went to sleep in a jjimjilbang. (Weirdly enough, I felt more subconscious than ever before about being naked in a jjimjilbang and I haven't a clue why.)

Next morning? Tattoo. Until the very evening. I only barely made the last bus, and only as a standby. If you want ridiculously detailed black and white work, go with Slam of Tattoo Korea and he shan't disappoint.

I was in pain and agitation on the bus ride back to Andong. But it was worth it.

Next week will probably be less action-packed.

YouTube does the work of words.

I don`t really care to describe in words my mental trajectory of the past week. So I`ll describe it through the majesty of YouTube videos! It`s what all the hip kids are jiving to these days.

Last Thursday? Best not to go into details. But needless to say that I did indeed have... 'Hurt Feelings'.

By Friday, though, I was ready to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. That is, by the way of 'Drink'.

Saturday day was a wash, but by Saturday night (as I did later on Friday night), I remembered the anthem of the 'Single Ladies'. Sadly, nothing came of it.

I awoke on Sunday with the profound desire to do nothing more than crawl under my blankets and watch pirated videos. Truly, I did need 'Home for a Rest'.

Monday, I felt quite small and insecure, thinking how amazingly unlikely was my birth. I tried to put a cork in it when I realised I was worrying my poor coteacher sick.

On Tuesday, I just drank lots of 'Fuckin' Tea'.

But by Wednesday, the usual frustrations began to creep back into my notice. My mental monologue went much like this cat's, complete with a male British accent.

And by the this very Thursday, I decided that fuck it, I should be 'Takin' Care of Business'. So I did.

Next time, I shall be positive, oh yes I shall. You might regret this.